Doubt about my past life

I don't know how to feel or what to think. Peoples doubts are getting me and they're multiplying my doubts. It seems even though reincarnation is generally viewed in the same light amongst people, some things differ from person to person. For instance; some people believe you have to look exactly like your past self whilst others state that's not important. Some people will claim numerology is key whilst others say it's merely coincidence. There are people who claim to have been someone and there's very little doubt that they weren't. They're able to answer questions on a whim without much thought and in some ways, they have what one would consider to be proof. And then there's me.. I have the memories when I was younger, most of them spontaneous, long before I knew of Jeffrey. And then I have some that were triggered by certain documentaries, movies, or pictures. Movies that were inaccurate in some of their portrayals of what happened. I would wind up dreaming of what actually happened or of the real victim, not the one in the movie. For instance, I have the memory of picking up Stephen Hicks in my mothers car. It was a bright and sunny day and I was listening to music. I spotted him alongside the road, he wasn't wearing a shirt and I was attracted to him. I had the memory of sitting with him and subsequently hitting him in the head when he tried to leave. I had the memory of meeting Steven Tuomi and casually chatting with him about his job. About heading back to the Ambassador Hotel, waking up to find him dead and bloodied. I recall putting him in a trunk in a panic, not a suitcase. I had a memory where I'm being left at the mall because of my being drunk. The memory of being arrested in the ramada inn. The one where Shari got on to me for stealing.. The one where my alcoholism is found out and I seem to be pleading with Shari not to say anything.. One where I'm in the army even. And another one where I presented my apartment to Lionel and Shari. Then other memories where I'm sitting in the apartment, drunk, usually beside one of the victims. I had a few dreams of my bedroom but sometimes these memories were distorted. What I mean by that is; something was misplaced, not in the same place it was in the police sketches. So, I feel like I've lost my mind. I wonder if I rearranged things. Some parts are spot on; others are off. Most memories are obscure and vague. In a large majority of them.. I'm drunk. Some I can remember as if they occurred yesterday whilst others are hazy. I can look back on certain things and I know how places look that no pictures exist of. I had even more memories of after I was dead, my spirit roaming about.. I'll tell myself I was impressionable and my imagination ran wild then and I've fooled myself into believing I was Jeffrey. I'll search desperately for a video, a documentary, anything that'll disprove my memories.. Convinced I had seen something that I now think of as a memory.. but I never find anything. And it's stressful because I cannot prove anything, people can only go by what I say.. It seems so cliche. I wish I were able to have memories now. Saying that there's a blockage comes off as an excuse almost. I'll try to trigger one like I did before but nothing happens.. I think the reason some people know so much more about their past lives is because they have memories that follow them to adulthood.. I've become wary of sharing my memories because I feel people will pick them apart. I know some of my memories are genuine.. but that's because I personally had them.. It'd be wrong of me to expect others to believe me because of that. I tell myself if only I could see the bathroom of the gym at Columbia Correctional. That if it were wrong, I would drop all of this. Even then, I don't know if I would exactly because I remember Christopher Scarver.. He stands out, to say the least... At this point in time, I can only go by the memories I've had and the connections to certain people such as; Shari, Lionel, Joyce, David, and my grandmother. I just finished A Fathers Story the other day and when I read certain parts, I teared up.. I felt I had read them before. I hope I'm not alone in this, I feel like there's certain expectations I cannot fulfill.. At first, I felt all that mattered was that I believed myself.. but it's not that easy. I know a lot of us want to be heard, to be told that what we believe is not as absurd as we think I probably is..