Introduction of my former self

I only recall a few lives. Most of my memories occurred when I was younger and as of lately, I've had a blockage which makes sense. The life that has influenced my current life most is my life as Jeffrey Dahmer. I feel like having died the way I did, I carried over a lot of baggage and issues I need to work out. My first memory I had was of my death followed by a few others. I also had memories of my spirit roaming about the courtrooms and one where I'm standing over my body. I have yet to have the really gruesome dreams of the killings though I might have forgotten them.. They could also be what's causing the blockage. I did have nightmares, very horrific and bloody nightmares which typically involved a family member being killed. I suppose I had those so I would feel what the victims families felt. Seeing as though I was an atheist/agnostic at the time of these memories, really all of my life up until 16; I ended up dismissing the memories. Even after I had a memory where I'm in court with my attorney and being led in by two police officers, I figured it was nothing more than a guilty conscious. Most of the memories I had would cause me to wake up in a panic, feeling as though the police were going to come for me. When I learned about Jeffrey at the age of thirteen I was immediately intrigued. I felt a connection but didn't pay much attention to it. I watched the interview with Stone Phillips and couldn't stop staring at Lionel. I felt a hint of sadnesses and regret. When I finally stumbled across the pictures of the courtrooms and the the home in Bath, they seemed familiar and I realized I had dreamt of them several times before. I was taken aback and didn't have a clue what to think about it at first. I wondered if I was Jeffrey even though it went against my beliefs or lack of. I again dropped it because a few of my memories couldn't be proven and some were distorted. However, I learned a few weeks ago that, that's fairly normal. I had a few more memories that were triggered by inaccurate documentaries. I dreamt of my arrest, for instance. These memories felt so incredibly real to me then. That even now, after having made the realization, I still find myself second guessing. I'll go through each and every documentary on YouTube, thinking I'll run across something I perceive as a memory but I never do. I've also noticed a slight resemblance and similar mannerisms as well. I haven't the slightest clue how to feel about any of this. It was overwhelming in the beginning but at the same time a relief to put the pieces together, I can't deny that.. My main focus is on healing and I still have a very long way to go. And even though my life as Jeffrey was terrible and lonely, I still find myself missing Lionel and Joyce a great deal. Sometimes I'll go into these trances where I don't feel like myself and I've established that Jeffrey is still a part of me, even if it's a small part. I feel I've grown as I would never harm another human being.. My personality is similar but at the same time a few things have changed. I'm female for one, this is quite the disadvantage and I hate it. I'm not controlling rather I've been controlled by victims of mine I've come across and even had relationships with. As you can imagine, they didn't end on very good terms. I used to curse my life and wonder why such things happened but now I understand it and I've made peace. It's kind of funny how for years I would swear I would have had to been a very bad person to be living the life I am now. I know some people don't believe in karma but I do to an extent. I believe you can become trapped in a cycle of karma if you repeat the same mistakes.. It's all about opening your eyes and changing.. And it's not really a means of punishment either. But yeah.. I can elaborate on my memories further if anyone wants me to. (: Oh, and thank you for accepting me here!